Reflection

This is potentially the most candid I'll get on this blog (and that's saying something), so read on at your own risk.

High School - Very self-conscious about my
body... hiding behind a binder of Celebrity
Crushes

I don't hate my body. Sure, there are plenty out there, some of you reading this, I'm sure, who have plenty to say about it, but I don't hate it. I'm honestly extremely comfortable in it. I have, oddly enough, a large amount of self confidence, and I like who I am. I do, at times, look back at those moments in life when I was skinnier, when I was the thin one in the family, and I have to laugh at myself. See, back then, I thought I was fat, and I couldn't stand my own body.

I laugh, because I'm more comfortable now in a larger body than I ever was when I was smaller. Perhaps that's even part of the hesitancy to change it (and change it I must for health reasons more than anything else). I don't want anyone to get this odd impression that I'm ashamed of myself. I'm not.

Bigger, but more confident!

See, I have this self-confidence and great imagination that allows me to picture myself differently. Take this afternoon, for example. I was driving down I-4, with my windows down, scream-singing along to some crazy song and my hair blowing in the wind. Now, if I were to look in a mirror while I was doing this, I would probably burst out laughing, because I'm sure it looks nothing like I imagine it in my head. But, see, it doesn't matter how ridiculous I look. When I drive down the road with my windows open, singing, well, sometimes that's the best part of my day. Why should I really care what I look like?

The person I see in the mirror, isn't who I imagine in my head, but that doesn't bother me. If you're too blind to see past that first image, then you clearly don't need to be a part of my life. I'm not going to go through life changing myself to fit the narrow perspectives of others just so they can get the chance to know me. I think that's just ridiculous.

I'm me. Rory. Not Lori or Cory. Roar like a lion, Rory. And while that first image may change through the years, the inner reflection remains the same. I really hope you're able to see that.