Stitch was Lost, Now I Am

I'm so afraid of the future--I'm excited for it, but still afraid. I feel like any time I make some sort of gain in my life I then move 2 steps backward.

I can go out and have a good time, but I lament two things: 1) I just don't feel like me at these parties and 2) The people who make them most fun are leaving me in January.

Sometimes I look at my life and look at my choices and have to wonder what the hell I'm thinking. So then I ask people what they think, and they all tell me a million different things. The truth is, only I know what's best for me, even if it doesn't seem like it to everyone else. I have friends who make similar mistakes, but it's their choice to make them, their lesson to learn.

Sometimes it's just time to let go of control. Let go and let God. It's a power struggle at first, but eventually it's ok. He knows what's best after all.

My manager warned us not to get sick the week before Christmas... and I woke up this morning with a knife in my throat. I'm starting to cough a lot again and I just don't feel up to being at work, but I have to otherwise I'll have nothing in January.

I'm so lost right now. Prayers appreciated <3

The Joy of Giving

I went to EPCOT alone today.

I'm not saying this as a form of self-pity or looking for condolences. In fact, it was a wonderful experience.

I knew I wanted to see Neil Patrick Harris in the Candlelight Processional, and I knew most of my friends would either be working, or not in town to see him. My parents were going out the one night I had the opportunity to go, so I trudged along to EPCOT after work today to wait in line.

I got to the park at 3:30pm. Already the line for Candlelight was into the Italy Pavilion, almost to Germany. The first show was at 5, and there was a slight chance we would make it. Once in line another woman stood behind me. Not one to stand on my own, I started a chat with her... and then the people behind us. It wasn't until 6:30 that we finally got to sit for a show, and in those 3 hours I got to talk with these lovely people. One of my friends in particular would laugh at how Disney Cast Member I was... giving hints for what to do, sharing stories from my adolescence. Once the woman behind me had her daughters join them (one in 6th grade, the other in 1st) I spent my time asking them about their vacation, about school. I learned who their favorite characters were and what was their favorite ride. When talking with the couple behind the family I learned how they met, where they were from, what vacation they were planning next and how long they've been together.

I got to sit with all of them for the show, and it really reminded me of the magic of Christmas: bringing all sorts of people together under one common goal of joy and peace. The two little girls are planning to visit me on the Ol' Frontier on Wednesday, and I can't wait to add a little magic to their trip!

Today I learned a bit more about myself, and gained a bit of confidence in my own abilities. I was having a hard time getting in the Christmas Spirit this week, and Mom suggested to do so by doing something for others. I have some ideas up my sleeve, so excited to be able to perform the magic of giving.

You've Got a Friend in Me

As this program winds down I'm finally realizing how difficult it will be to say goodbye.

Those friends that you can call and walk straight over to their apartment won't be around. Those friends who are there at work to listen to your problems, to give advice, to let you cry on their shoulder, who always seem to have the answer... who make each day better, who make life better... they're all going back to their lives, and I'm here. It's a small joke, that whenever they come back, I'll be here to say hi.

I'm not sure I can do goodbyes just yet. Love to everyone <3

Oh, So That's Why We Keep Journals

I'm cleaning my room at my parents' house, figuring out what needs to stay and what needs to go. In doing so I found a journal. It's not long, as a often don't finish my journals, but it's interesting, and certainly one I never plan on throwing away or forgetting. But I'd like to take this time to tell myself something:

Dear Me of the Past:

It gets better. In so many ways you are correct. But you have to remember you're not always right. You need to let go and realize you're not always in control. You have so much to learn, so many experiences to encounter. You're going to meet new people, you're going to re-meet old ones.

Some of your predictions are going to come true, but not in the way you think. You think college is a huge, daunting experience, but you'll get through it just fine. You say that you're going to study hard and not just skate by, but let's be honest, skating by is how you work best. You say you're a bit of a loner, but you'll find yourself meeting all sorts of new people, and opening your mind to realizing that right and wrong are much more blurred in the real world.

You say your world is going to end, but I promise, it continues. You don't think you'll get through it, but I promise, it will pass. You'll find yourself in familiar territory, but this time you'll know what to do. You'll laugh more.

When you want to complain, your journal won't be the first place you turn to. You'll have new sources like Blogs, Facebook, and Twitter. Just remember, when you go back and read your journal you won't be proud of what you wrote. And remember that when you post complaints on Blogs, Facebook and Twitter a lot more people will read and remember them.

Just always remember: life is full of trials and complications. Each day brings new difficulties, and there will always be times when it seems like your world is crashing, but you'll go back and see that you got through one thing, and you can certainly get through another. It will all eventually be ok, and you'll be stronger for it.

Take life one day at a time. Look for signs from God, He does know what's best. Follow your heart and don't be afraid to let it break. You'll learn how to repair it, and ice-cream is not always the answer (as much as you want it to be).

Always remember that your family loves you and sticks with you no matter what. As you continue to expand your friend circle, never let the older ones slip by the wayside: they're just as valuable. Don't be afraid to let people in. Don't bottle things up.

Most of all: be proud of who you are. Stand tall. You're going to speak your mind--people will admire you for it, others won't. So long as you stay proud, none of it will matter. Keep your moral conscience, stick with your gut, and hold on tight--life's a roller-coaster and you're never going to want it to end.

Love, You from the Not-So-Far-Away-Future <3

God Bless Us, Everyone

There is so much to be thankful for this year, but most of all I'm thankful for the unique opportunity to share this season with so many wonderful people. Unlike my last post, I'm not talking about guests and tourists. Today I'm talking about my co-workers, my friends.

When I started the program I promised myself I wouldn't get too attached. I just said goodbye to all my friends from college, packed everything up and moved on to start a new life. I knew that at the start of January any new friends I made would leave Orlando and I'd be back to square one. I figured it'd be easier to not care about anyone and then not have to go through the separation anxiety again.

Well, we all know I was fooling myself. I like people too much, I make friends easily, and already I don't want them to leave.

So many of them have to make due this holiday season--they have to attempt their mom's greatest recipes alone, celebrate on non-holiday days, make their own traditions. It really humbles me--I have my family here. My best friends are all coming home for the holidays. And I get to celebrate with my co-workers in their own special way. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by so many tidings of good cheer!

Yesterday one of my co-workers hosted Thanksgiving at her place--it was fabulous! "Turkey" (rotisserie chicken since none of us liked turkey), stuffing, potatoes and green bean casserole. Pumpkin Pie for dessert, sparkling grape juice for drinks. She decorated her apartment and we played games and watched the Jim Carey "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". It was Thanksgiving.

Tomorrow I'll be home with my parents, watching the parade, drinking hot chocolate, eating ravioli (tradition!), and helping cook a wonderful meal. Friday we'll pack in the car really early to do some fun shopping. Saturday evening I'll watch the UF/FSU game with some of my best friends, a tradition every year (*cough*gogators*cough*).

So thank you, everyone, from the bottom of my heart. I am blessed to have so many people in my life to celebrate the season.

If you know someone who might be lonely this Season. If you know someone in need of a friend or someone to hang out with, invite them to your celebration--share the joy and happiness. You too will find yourself blessed <3

Christmas isn't about candy canes, or lights all aglow, it's the hearts that we touch and the care that we show

Anyone who knows me knows that Christmastime is my favorite time of year. When I was little my parents made it extra special: bags of toys hanging from the outside trees, shredded carrots lining the porch where the reindeer waited for Santa, opening gifts one at a time while watching 24-hours of a Christmas Story, just to make the day seem longer. As we've gotten older the traditions have changed, some of which have stuck for years now. We have the same breakfast, the same dinner, I make the hot chocolate, the dog plays with the wrapping paper. We have theme stockings (this year it's our favorite books!) and one of us always plays Santa.

One of my favorite personal traditions is spending as much time as possible at Disney. If you've never been to Disney at Christmas, make sure it's noted on your bucket list. It's certainly something you don't want to miss. Between the amazing Osbourne Family Spectacle of Lights, the inspiring Candlelight Processional, the beautifully lit Cinderella's castle and every single fireworks show there's just no beating it. Some of my best memories involve Disney at Christmas.

I'm not gonna lie, it's somewhat brutal working Disney at Christmas: the crowds mostly. I'm not looking forward to working Christmas Day, especially since my family's in town. I am looking forward to the wonderful paychecks that come with the long hours. I have plenty of Christmas shopping to do, and my family knows that most of their gifts are Disney-related.

What I must remember this Christmas season, when I'm at work and when the parks are packed, is that I get to be a part of that Christmas Disney Magic that I always rave about. I get to help make memories and create magical moments. Somehow it all seems a bit better when I realize what I can do for the guests. I get to share with them the Christmas magic I've known and loved, and maybe get them to return again and start their own tradition.

With the way my posts have been going, I might not post again before Christmas, so Merry Christmas in advance!

The King (Queen?) Has Returned!

Ok, it's been awhile since I last updated... Honestly, I just haven't really had the time.

It's Inspection Time again and this time it's working a little bit differently. Remember last time I told you all about how we split up the duties fairly evenly and were able to get the white glove award? Yeah, it's not so cohesive this time.

It's not like they tell us more than a month ahead of time when our inspections are... this time our inspection happened to fall when one of the roommates was out of town and another has family in town. We also have a roommate who does absolutely nothing to contribute to the well-being of the apartment, so that left three of us to do a job meant for 6 people. Oh boy.

That being said, it's been an interesting time before inspections. With inspections tomorrow, my room is spotless, as is the living room and the kitchen. After that, it's beyond my control. I'm guessing we'll only pass, no white glove, but that's just me. Honestly, after all this cleaning, I'm really indifferent and just glad to have a clean apartment again.

Now, about work. Well, work is work. It's still happy always being at the happiest place on earth, but things are starting to fall more into a pattern. We've started doing the wonderful Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party, and I absolutely love working the event. When I'm in upper I'm usually stocking, but it's still fun to see everyone's costumes and tell them Happy Halloween. When I'm in lower we play different games and pass out candy. There's this one great game we played that involved bending down a lot, and halfway through the night I realized I had pulled something in my upper leg... throughout the next few days it got stiffer until one day I couldn't sit without being in excruciating pain. Luckily, that was the worst day, and it got better after that.

We also had our 40th Anniversary on October 1st, and the park was PACKED. Seriously, there were lines everywhere, especially for merchandise. 'Tis the season for Pin Hunters... some people come and spend HUNDREDS, sometimes THOUSANDS of dollars on PINS. It's the limited editions (Halloween, Christmas, 40th Anniversary) and they're going like hot-cakes!

Did you know that at Disney, Christmas starts a week after Thanksgiving? Yup, my holidays are officially out of whack. Everyone keeps telling me Halloween hasn't happened yet and I just don't believe them.

We are officially in my favorite time of year. My birthday was this past Thursday (ewww, I'm old/23) and that signals the start of the rest of the year. There's Halloween and cool weather and Thanksgiving and Black Friday shopping and then Christmastime! Seriously I LOVE this time of year.

I had to resist the urge to play my Glee Christmas Album this week. I WILL wait until at least Thanksgiving. I WILL wait. As for watching Love Actually, I hardly doubt I can hold off watching that... maybe I'll watch it this week. Probably... it's hard to watch it and not get in the Christmas mood though. Thoughts? Honestly, just watching Alan Rickman, Colin Firth and Hugh Grant is enough to make me happy =D

Oh! That reminds me, although I'm not sure why, this is also the season of the EPCOT Food and Wine Festival. I've been once already and it's quite good, but extremely filling. If there's one suggestion I can make this year it's to try the Apple Strudel. Not because I tried it, but because you'll regret it forever if you don't try it. Seriously, it will follow you everywhere.

I'm going again on Wednesday with my sister. And this time I'm gonna get the Apple Strudel.

Well, sleep calls. Here's to hoping the best for the rest of the year and this awesome season =D Who knows what might happen I guess =D

Til then, keep having faith in dreaming... one day your wish will come true (with hard work and perseverance, of course)

<3